Meet Scout

Kid, you're doomed.

If you'd only paid more attention in school, you would know that Knossos is where young people were killed by the Minotaur. You may not be able to change your fate, but at least you may be able to appreciate the telegraphed foreshadowing.

The bullhead Minotaur reference on the uniform patches is me as a designer wearing artistic pretension not just on my sleeve but on a cartoon boxing glove on a telescoping arm. Then again, I'm designing a gore-soaked spookhouse, so perhaps subtlety is not a valued commodity right now.

The Scout uniform is standardized, utilitarian and, more importantly, a big red target.

But why red? Even though the song "Nature Trail to Hell" explicitly describes a "Cub Scout Troop" that gets hacked up, the unusual color will help create a tactical distance from the official Cub Scouts of America uniforms in order to avoid potential legal and PR complications. More importantly, the color red (and the warmer end of the color spectrum) reacts in an unusual way when viewed through ChromaDepth® Glasses: it optically "shifts" these particular colors toward the viewer.

Product and description sourced from 3dglassesonline

That's right, why not capitalize on the "In 3-D" chorus of the song and album title by presenting the entire experience with this additional enhancement?

Let's take another look at Brittle Britney against a dark background:

If you have a set of the ChromaDepth® Glasses handy, you will see there's an additional level of "pop" between the red shirt and the dark background. Just the thing to boost any sudden movement toward the guest.

An added benefit of this saturation-dependant 3-D approach is that one can get quite cartoony with the amount and hue of the blood enriching the experience. Maybe that'll take some of the stigma out of all the dead kids that are going to pepper the experience. Or compound it. Either way, somebody's going to be satisfied with the result.


The Makeup Department will add glycerin tears and fake blood to the ScareActor as needed for the scene. The Costume Department should get on trying to find a warehouse stash of dusty cardboard boxes filled with red Trax sneakers.


Given that a lot of professional venues such as Halloween Horror Nights only cast people over 18 years of age (the inferred age of all the characters depicted throughout this walkthrough), there's a few ways to play the casting for the Scout characters: genuinely young-looking males, petite women with pixie cuts, or just hang a lampshade on it and cast adult men sporting five-o'clock shadows as a nod to all movies and TV shows, past and present, that would depict actors in their mid-late twenties as high schoolers.


Tomorrow: Enter Camp Knossos